


Clarity

by operationgenocide



Category: Divergent (Movies), Divergent Series - Veronica Roth
Genre: F/M, First Kiss, Flashbacks, M/M, past relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-22
Updated: 2015-08-22
Packaged: 2018-04-16 15:52:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4631160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/operationgenocide/pseuds/operationgenocide
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Four evaluates his relationship with Tris and thinks about what he truly wants. Clarity Songfic I guess. Alternate ending to Divergent, therefore the following two books didn't happen. Four and Eric are a little OOC and this is kinda choppy.<br/>Contains Tris/Four, eventually Eric/Four</p><p>//<br/>As soon as he door banged shut, and he was alone, he let the first tear fall. He dropped his head into his hands and screamed silently. Remembering only minutes before those hands had been holding the young Dauntless, he harshly pulled his hands away and felt another tear fall down his face, once, twice, until he felt like his head hurt enough to forgive himself for a small fractions of all his mistakes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Clarity

__

__He leaned into her, running his calloused hands down her pale arms. Tris looked up at him with a gentle smile, resting her head on his chest. He forced a kind, caring look at her and stroked her smooth cheek with his thumb. Tris was extremely feminine, if she was clad in red and yellow clothes he was certain she could easily be mistaken for a pretty Amity. She leaned into him, pressing a close-lipped kiss to his mouth. With a barely audible sigh, he sat her closer to him and pulled his girlfriend in for a sweet kiss, squeezing her small hands and smiling into the kiss.

"You should go," he whispered. "Back to the initiate's quarters. Tomorrow is important, Tris. You know it is."

She backed away at his words, soft blush and almost-there frown gracing her attractive face as she slipped off the bed and fumbled around for the Dauntless black jacket she seemed to adore.

"Tobias..."

He glanced over at her with a questioning gaze. She shook her head slightly, as if an unspoken question had been answered.

"It doesn't matter." She waved slightly, nearly hesitantly at him before gripping the door handle and stepping out. "Bye."

As soon as he door banged shut, and he was alone, he let the first tear fall. He dropped his head into his hands and screamed silently. Remembering only minutes before those hands had been holding the young Dauntless, he harshly pulled his hands away and felt another tear fall down his face, once, twice, until he felt like his head hurt enough to forgive himself for a small fractions of all his mistakes.

_Hot dive into frozen waves_

He collapsed onto his bed, the only thought on his mind how much he'd prefer to stroke cheeks with stubble, rather than Tris' soft, seemingly perfect skin. How he'd prefer a lot more manly features rather than his girlfriend's incredibly girly ones.

_Where the past comes back to life_

He remembered his initiation, how the Erudite transfer had seemed so flawless, so stunning. He recalled sparring with him, recalled the harsh voice taunting him as they got into position. _"Come on, Eaton."_ his apparent bored, stoic tone had teased. _"You do know how to fight, right? You can't seriously be that pathetic."_ As expected, his cruel sparring partner had come off the stage victorious, but he didn't remember that. He remembered waking up in the infirmary, a heavily tattooed brunette smirking down at him, asking if he knew how he got there. He answered with a no, and the Dauntless nurse proceeded to take great satisfaction in informing him of the _pretty blonde pierced boy_ who had carried him onto an empty hospital bed and demanded immediate treatment.

_Fight fear for the selfish pain_

After that, Eric had dragged him down to the sparring rooms every night during their initiation, refusing to let him be a twig with little to no muscle.

Even though he had developed a half-respect for him, Eric still sparred with no mercy and quickly held 1st place on the leaderboards. He had been impressed, envious of the Erudite transfer's skill, wishing he could be as high up on the bored as the other was.

He doubted he would of ever hurt Eric, even slightly, as through the initiation he had developed a crush on the other initiate, and would rather be held in Eric's strong arms than hurt him. It was definitely worth it, seeing the mostly hidden smile and the proud glint in his eyes, even as Tobias worked his way up to the top 10.

_It was worth it every time_

It took weeks before Eric noticed, realised his lingering glances and admiration clearly in his dark eyes.

Weeks before he realised the closeness they had shared had had an effect on Tobias. He had been distant since then, never touching him for more than a few seconds, breaking eye contact as he got uncomfortable.

Sometimes, he wished Eric hadn't noticed, and sometimes he wished Eric felt the same way.

If that had happened, he wouldn't be lying in this room alone, recalling the past, and wishing that Eric hadn't become so distant after he became a Dauntless leader.

_Hold still right before we crash_

He remembered all too clearly how he lost his first kiss. It had been right after his back tattoo had been done, and he had clutched Eric's hand throughout the entire thing, never once glancing over at the teenager he liked as he feared the dark scowl that he knew would be on the other's features. But as the seconds passed and the tattooist walked out of the room, yelling something about a mirror in the room and saying she'd be back in a moment, he knew he had to do something.

_'Cause we both know how this ends_

He'd pressed his lips against Eric's, wrapped his weak arms around the blonde's neck for a few silent seconds. It seemed Eric had got over his shock quickly, and pushed Tobias off after muttering a sharp sentence before stalking out of the room, his strong face hidden.

_A clock ticks til it breaks your glass_

He'd hung his head in mortification for a good few minutes, crying somewhat loudly as he walked over to the mirror and stared at his back. The dark, intricate swirls and Faction symbols made him feel complete, save for the empty feeling he had in his heart.

_And I drown in you again_

He shook his head slightly, dragging himself out of the depressing memories he carried around with himself. He sat up, wrapping his arms around himself with a sigh.

_'Cause you are the piece of me_

He found himself in front of Eric's leader's apartment, digging his nails into his palm as he knocked nervously on the door. I wish I didn't need He heard a soft grunt, before the door opened with a familiar snarl greeting him. "What do you want?" the cold expression on his face was held in a glare ashe glanced at him.

"You." Tobias murmured, before hiding his face in his hands.

_Chasing relentlessly_

He collapsed into the blonde's arms, a fit of tears and sadness at the memories that had visited him. He cried and cried as Eric dragged him into his apartment with an unhappy intake of breath.

_Still fight and I don't know why_

"Four." Eric muttered. He looked up, glancing at Eric's features before whimpering almost silently and sliding back into the other's arms.

_If our love is tragedy_

"I love you." Tobias muttered. "Eric, I love you."

He felt the other's hand still before stroking his back steadily.

"I know, Four. I know."

_Why are you my remedy?_

"You can't go back from this." Eric muttered, frowning at himself for giving in.

Tobias nodded against the other's chest.

"I love you too." Eric murmured eventually, before pulling them both over to the bed.

_If our love's insanity_

"This isn't right. You're supposed to be with the pretty Stiff." Eric muttered, feeling Tobias tense in his arms.

_Why are you my clarity?_

"You love me?" Tobias looked up, glancing at the softening glance of the man he loved.

"I have for a while, Stiff."

_If our love is tragedy,_

_why are you my remedy?_

That night, he spent hours recieving soft kisses and warnings that if he didn't leave now, he would have to break up with Tris and sit with him.

He nodded repeatedly.

"I would do anything for you." he murmured as he drifted into sleep.

"Simple acts of bravery will do, Four."

_If our love's insanity,_

_why are you my clarity?_

The next morning, everything was silent as Eric and Four walked into the Pit, hands entwined.

_Walk on through a red parade_

They carried on walking, Four leaning slightly into Eric as they arrived at the leader's table. Max sent a smirk to Eric, who grinned in response. Not that Four cared, of course. He was way too happy.

_And refuse to make amends_

Tris was watching him, he noted, with her eyes narrowed. He mouthed _OVER_ to her, and seeing by her reaction she'd understood what he'd said. She instantly looked away from him, whispering something to that friend of her's, the Candor he'd yelled at on their first day.

_It cuts deep through our ground,_

_and makes us forget all common sense_

He was finally happy, even watching Tris cry and be hugged by the Candor, Christina.

_Don't speak as I try to leave,_

_'cause we both know what we'll choose_

She got up, accompanied by Christina as she sent one last glance at him, hoping that he'd run over and kiss her. He frowned, and leaned up slightly to press a chaste kiss to Eric's inked neck.

The door slammed.

_If you pull then I'll push too deep,_

_and I'll fall right back to you_

Eric didn't fight the smirk off his features and Four smiled at that. He was glad he'd made the right decision, and made the empty feeling in his heart disappear. The only thing that would make him even happier is if he never had to speak with Tris again.

_Why are you my clarity?_

He suddenly remembered what Eric had said to him the day in the tattoo parlour.

**"I'll be waiting."**


End file.
